陷入虐待关系?
陷入虐待关系的人会听到，“你比这好多了!”你为什么要留下来?”我知道我比我的经验更好。我知道我不应该被那样对待。然而，当有人向我指出这一点时，我想要坚定立场，争取留下来。
我知道我比他对待我的方式要好，但我认为虐待我的人也比他的行为好。我认为我们受到了同样的伤害。我以为我们都被困在一段虐待关系中了。
我以为我们是这两个陷入虐待关系
我想他一定非常痛苦，才会用那种方式来伤害我——对我说那些话，假装他说的是真话，用他的手来支持他的话。我以为他和我都很痛苦。
我理应得到更好的待遇，但他和我是一样的。他应该有机会找到幸福。他值得爱、善良、尊重……真爱。他应得的我的爱(尽管给我不尊重和憎恨)因为我们是一样的．
当有人对我说我比他强时，我像一条猛蛇一样退缩。这种逻辑毫无道理。我怎么可能比我等于什么?他们，那些鼓励我离开施虐者的人，成了我的敌人．
当我开始向我的新敌人讲述施虐者的伟大事迹时，蜜月期的美好回忆占据了上风。我向自己强调为什么我留下来就像我试图说服我的敌人一样。我的逻辑和我的敌人不一样。我所做的对我来说完全有意义。放弃他就意味着放弃我。
我是一个被困在虐待关系中的好人
我忠诚，有爱心，愿意坚强地度过难关。我能看到虐待我的人的优点。我不仅能活下来，而且把他拉上来从他内心的恨海中。我欠因为我向他保证过永远不会离开他。我答应去爱、尊敬和珍惜;不使用，掉头，和嘲笑。
我的忠诚感和他和我是平等的信念(这两者的影响洗脑)把我困在我们虐待的关系中。我留下是因为我觉得离开意味着背叛我是谁．施虐者已经在很多方面背叛了我。我不想背叛你我自己所以我一直对他忠诚。囿于我是谁就像他对我做了什么在美国，我被困在一段虐待关系中将近20年。
当我陷入虐待关系时，我没有正确地倾听
似乎在我结婚的日子里，我和我的家人和朋友说着不同的语言。当他们告诉我，我应该得到更好的待遇，并提供了一条出路时，我没有听到他们想让我听到的。我听到“我都认不出你了。你真是一团糟。你需要帮助。你做错了。你一定有问题。”
我保证他们不是这个意思。但我想象着自己今天对家暴受害者说同样善意的话。我想让他们看到我在他们身上看到的东西。但我不会说他们的语言。我是他们的敌人。
APA的参考
Jo, K.(2012年3月23日)。陷入虐待关系?, HealthyPlace。于2022年5月30日从//www.lharmeroult.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2012/03/trapped-in-an-abusive-relationship检索到
作者:Kellie Jo Holly
嗨Keniada,
我为你迈出离开虐待关系的第一步鼓掌!我鼓励你阅读这些博客以获得建议和支持，同时也向专业人士求助。这里有一些资源可以帮助你开始这个过程://www.lharmeroult.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer..。
我祝你有爱有好运，珍
你好。从十几岁到现在，我一直受到父母精神上、精神上的口头虐待。我在夜店被人下药，被人说唱醒来时发现自己躺在公寓的水泥地上。19岁的时候，我经历了一段充满虐待迹象的关系。我回到家，我妈骂我我吃了一整瓶感冒药去上班精神紧张症就像他们发现我昏倒在浴室里一样。我现在又陷入了一段言语精神情感虐待的婚姻。我没有家人或帮助，我病了16个月，痛苦不堪。在我19岁的时候，我被绑架，被迫拍摄色情视频，如果我离开，他就会强奸我。我上一任丈夫总是虐待他，3年后和一个cpo离婚了。我也经历过很多虐待关系。 My parents won't help they kicked me out for no reason I'm their only daughter. I need help I live in Tennesse is their ways to get help? God bless you. If u are in a marriage witg a non beleiver the Bible says if your in good company stay married if your in bad company leave. I am a firm believer if u are being abused and they won't change leave, the bible says so. I cry I have had panic attacks for 5 months since I have been here. He threatens to kick me out when he doesn't get what he wants. We got in a bad fight and he was going to call the cops I did nothing wrong I got in my car and fled and then he said he was going to kill himself. He shot the gun I was terrified . Went outside he didn't do it. His family sides with him . I'm alone sick no money no family. He is 46 he yells at his mom, who gives him lunch money washes his clothes lays them out, and gives him his meds. Likes is food perfect. And the icing on the cake his mom cut his steak for him for his lunch! I'm so sick I need help with showers and driving. He has problems, hes going to counseling to satisfy me. No go for yourself. I am a devout Godly woman, if I did not have Jesus, I will loose it. For the last 5 months I told him to stop or I will be in the hospital. I started cutting at 15 on lists, then my First husband I took a box cutter and cut my arms and legs. I tried to commit suicide 10 times. This man I married on FaceTime he seemed layed back and kind and loved Jesus, he's not even saved he lied. We stay with his family. He was married and lived next door for 6 years she left in the nite why? And one year on his own so he has lived away from parents for 7 years he's 46. I had to work and have an apt, my parents helped some but never their when you need them. We started to go to church I found one he was jelous cause I praised Jesus and sacrificed a praise , he says why don't u sacrifice for me. I'm Gods child annoited through my praise 5 people gave a testimony how I blesses them and how to get out of religiosity. I was humbled it was Jesus, the glory goes to God. God bless and thank u. If anyone knows of help or how I could obtain money. God bless
嗨,每个人,
我既惊讶又惊讶我们有这么多人。我对你们和你们的处境感同身受。我唯一的建议是....我自己的处境也很紧张，所以我对自己说的话不太相信。但和这些"麻烦"在一起。要求改变，更多的意见，尊重，欣赏和改变这个人。如果他们拒绝，永远不要尝试，不要承认他们缺乏努力，继续他们的方式。把F拿出来。在北美社会，物流、财务和可行性都是可以解决的，至少如果你选择这样做的话。不要忍受，但如果你有错误，也不要否认。 If so, over come them, master & own them. Then you have grown & taken your personal power back. Its not about a fight & winning. Its about being you & the responcible, capable, unique, diverse, adaptable, best mother F'ing parent you could possible be. Im not a big fan of cutting other parents out of childrens lives as they are needed, unless they are needed out. some do for sure. but thats case per case. God speed & hold true to your beliefs & morals. We all knew better, but refused to accept the reality of our situations. hang in there until change is futile & your growth is ripe & ready. Much love fellow earthlings!
我和他在一起11年了。我们一起有了孩子。我很害怕他会把我塑造成坏人，失去孩子们。我认为我的选择并不总是正确的。他甚至能把最小的东西变成可怕的东西。所以我才不想离开他。我的两个女儿是7岁和一对双胞胎。我担心女孩们最终会认为他所做的是正常的。他的母亲也经常辱骂他。她比我糟糕十倍还背着我跟人说话。 I hate all of this. I wish I could leave. My family supports him :/
停止战斗。事实上，停止与施虐者和你内心的声音斗争。读://www.lharmeroult.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2013/12/fighting-for-peace/
我希望这能有所帮助。
通过Facebook，我遇到了我的一个老朋友。我发现她和一个虐待狂同居了7-8年。他卖掉了她的车，由于严重的车祸和健康问题，经济困难，她无法离开。我为她的安危担心。他监视着她的一举一动，脾气很坏。我曾提出让她和我住在一起，但她似乎不愿意离开。在事态升级到危险之前，我能说什么或做什么来帮助她获得自由?她表示她经常想出去，但因为钱，又没有地方去......
我已经和这个家伙在一起一年多了.....自从我们相遇，他就一直想要孩子，一年后他让我怀孕了，我担心的是我们之间没有尊重.....他待我就像他是我爸爸....我不能再做我自己.....我always feel sad but on the other side I can't be without him....now that I'm pregnant I feel so confused I think about it like this.....if he didn't treat right and we had no kids what makes me think he is gonna change now that we are expecting a child ....he has always had a bad temper......I think I'm in a abusive relationship and I just don't want to see it...and this is killing me
[…)我吗?我坐着听她讲了快两年，她从一段可怕的虐待关系中恢复过来，找到了做单亲母亲的方式。我看到她每次评估[…]都是正确的。
[…)我吗?我坐着听她讲了快两年，她从一段可怕的虐待关系中恢复过来，找到了做单亲母亲的方式。我看到她每次评估[…]都是正确的。
我真的很尊重和欣赏你的博客!我们正试图通过电影来提高人们对虐待关系的认识。你可以在这里查看http://www.facebook.com/BLAMEfilm如果你有兴趣了解更多，请随时给我们发邮件。
我很高兴我也发现了这个网站，我才结婚4年，有一个儿子，但口头谩骂，它只是....筋疲力尽，我听到他们的故事，帮助每个人，但这太困难了，我有家人在附近，但我没有钱，试图让我自己，我的儿子和我们的财产是艰难的，加上我为我的丈夫感到难过，不知怎么的，这是我的错，但他说一切都是我的错，所以还有一件事，我知道我需要帮助，我只是得不到，我等不及离开。
我非常高兴能找到你的博客。我和一个言语虐待者生活了近25年。我住在离亲戚至少600英里远的地方，所以简单地离开不是解决问题的办法。我得制定一个计划。这很难，但我必须这么做。为了我的理智，我得出去走走。我打算下周开始咨询。这可能需要我一年的时间，但我只需要制定一个坚实的目标并坚持下去。