BPD与灵性:危险但治愈的河流(第1页)

在我最后的评论中有一些愚蠢的自动更正问题.....当我说我父亲患有精神分裂.....我的意思是说，他被认为拥有它，这是不允许的，哈哈，当我说你应该干涉她....这也是自动更正，哈哈。我是说，你应该为她向上帝求情。
邦妮·李
bonnaleesa@gmail.com

我在8岁的时候被诊断出患有边缘性人格障碍....是的,8 ! !这是不应该发生的，但无论如何，它发生了.....我在寄养家庭时接受的合法治疗师的治疗!顺便说一句，我是在寄养家庭长大的在那里我只知道治疗师和一些寄养家庭有什么问题，而不是全部。一个人越是被告知他们是某种东西或拥有某种属于肉体的东西，而不是属灵的东西
，他们表现得越来越像。你要告诉她，她是新造的，不是她的罪，被血覆盖，所以第四。我现在的治疗师认为我被误诊了，但问题是我有边缘性特征，但不是全部!我崇拜苹果，但我不会毁灭别人!我有严重的被遗弃问题，我有严重的抑郁和焦虑!是的，我也有愤怒的问题，但我已经变得更强大了!我是一个无教派新生教会的一员，我非常参与!我教过学前班，还做过歌唱服务。我甚至去了他们在马里兰州巴尔的摩市的圣经学院一年。我仍然认为自己重生了，相信我学到的大部分东西。 I stopped going because one while I was at the pastor's home with his wife, he said I was a paranoid schizo. I have never been diagnosed as schitzofrenia but he just through it out there without knowing my past or even asking me. I was diagnosed at 15 with OCD. I have been anorexic and was at the time in the church. They would say things like....."you're a classic case of anorexia". instead of trying to help me. They also loved me too but they didn't do anything to try n help me! I only started getting help when I left. However, I know it's not all their fault and that's what makes me different from many borderlines. I don't go and destroy people! I admit my wrongs, I blame but only when warented such as, I didn't grow up with my father.....he was permitted to have schitzofrenia too but I don't know....anyway, years later when I was in the church, I met him again and it was a very happy time for me. One day he went to meet with the pastor. He came out feeling upset but didn't tell me what went on, neither did pastor. A week later, he committed suicide. I asked my pastor what went on in the meeting. He said that my dad wanted to let out his guilt and talk about it but he wouldn't let him discuss his guilt. Instead, he said where have u been all these years....Look at what you have done to their mother and your kids. You need to get right with God! A week later, he's dead......I blame my pastor for his suicide and although I believe in forgiveness and need to forgive him, it's hard! Point is, the bible says not to look at a man after his flesh but to only see him through the new man or woman in your case. If you continue to acknowledge her problems and fleshy faults, you are not acknowledging Grace, Mercy and the blood of Christ which covers sin! God the Father cannot see your sin because you are covered in the blood of Jesus's sacrifice for all the world therefore, look not upon her sin and don't acknowledge it to her but be aware of it so that you can pray and as a pastor's wife, it's not your job to just pray a one minute prayer. You should be interfering for her....to God on her behalf. If you don't get on your knees and cry for her to God to heal her then you aren't doing your job. Do u need to always be on your knees, no but what counts is your heart for her, not the friendship but the heart of God for her! I know my pastor and his wife love me and I think they have changed in some ways too when I run into them. Iam also considering going back because I have gotten stronger in the spirit to be able to stand with God in my own walk instead of idolizing but to also see people as imperfect human beings who are on their own walk with God.....by the way, there are three pple who I used to idolize in that church and the pastor's wife is one of them. I didn't have the kind of friendship with her that u had with this woman though because my pastors wife was more closed......we hugged all the time but we never hung out as friends.......my church actually doesn't believe in friendship outside the church. They consider it soul power and fleshy......another reason I left but not the main reason! I think it was a bunch of reasons, not one big one. Anyway, I have been out of church for 15 years now. I have gone downhill many times, been in the hospital three or four times yet am also stronger in many ways because of all this. I long to be in a church community but not one who orders people to obey the pastor or acknowledges your sin......Jesus never acknowledged a person's sin......I recently heard a story about two pple. I don't know them. One was a lesbian and the other was a Christian friend. The Christian friend never once brought up homosexuality as being a sin.....never even brought up the term and one day down the road, this lesbian became a Christian and left homosexuality and in her testimony, she said it was her Christian friend's love and never mentioning her sin that led her to be saved and change.....and not I'm not secretly talking about myself lol, I am married to a man....which is also struggling! If you want to talk with me or if any true Christian wants to talk with me, my email isbonnaleesa@gmail.com…请在主题栏写上.......基督教边界论坛。我是一个不完美的基督徒，我正在努力接近上帝并被治愈!只有上帝能做到，但最后，我不反对药物治疗。我一直在用它，它并不总是有效，但它对一些人很有效，有一个真实的事情，如化学不平衡或阿米迪拉的问题。不要承认她的罪过，甚至为自己的所作所为道歉.....记住，你不是承认自己错了，因为你错了或坏了，而是一种达到目的的手段，治愈和圣经说成为一个受害者，可以说，因为如果有人错误地指责你.....耶稣在十字架上做到了......我不记得我的陈述，但如果你给我发邮件，我可以查一下。成为耶稣的牺牲品.....但这并不是说让她走在你身上，这只是道歉，然后告诉她你将不再承认她的罪，因为她被血覆盖，如果耶稣不能看到她的罪，你也不应该.........你的工作是去爱，而不是去定罪!
另外，很抱歉这么长时间的回复，但这是我的强迫症
邦妮!
bonnaleesa@gmail.com

我无意中发现了这个网站，试图学习如何有效地服侍我认为患有边缘性人格障碍的人。我是一间小教会的牧师妻子，也是敬拜领袖。我和我们教堂里的一位女士有点矛盾。她告诉我，她有一个创伤性的童年，现在已经看治疗师两年多了。虽然她没有告诉我她的诊断结果，但我做了一些研究，相信她患有边缘性人格障碍。在她来我们教堂的头两年里，我们之间相处得很好，我们建立了相当亲密的友谊。尽管她把我理想化的倾向让我感到不舒服，但(不幸的是)人们试图把我放在神坛上并不是一件罕见的事情，所以我并不认为这是一个危险的信号，表明她有更严重的事情要发生。问题出现在大约六个月前，当时我质问她，她正在做一些圣经教导基督徒不应该做的事情。在我质问她的时候，她在敬拜小组，这被认为是我们教会的领导职位。处于领导地位的人会签署一份协议，他们会尽最大努力按照圣经的方式生活，所以我试着和她谈谈她正在做的事情，希望能教会她，帮助她远离那些行为。 I tried my best to do this in a loving and kind way, but I also didn't suspect at that time that she struggled with a personality disorder. I was blindsided when she quit the worship team, threatened to quit attending church, and began accusing me of treating her bad, constantly telling her what she was doing that was wrong, and saying things I never said like she was garbage and not worth anything. We were able to resolve enough that she still attends our church and she says she wants to remain friends, although our friendship is pretty fragile at this point and I don't know how to restore it. I have tried to put the past behind us but she frequently brings up the fact that I made her feel worthless and like she isn't as good as other people in the church. She also frequently tells me that she is torn between wanting to quit attending our church because I made her feel so bad and wanting to stay because she loves attending our church and she loves me and my husband and misses us when she doesn't go to church. Although I only talked to her three times about what she did and haven't brought it up at all for almost four months I still get accused of constantly telling her everything she is doing that is wrong.
我想帮助这位女士但我不知道该怎么做。我能在网上找到一些关于如何与有人格障碍的家庭成员生活在一起的建议，而不是关于如何与有人格障碍的家庭成员保持友谊。网上几乎没有关于为有人格障碍的人做牧师的信息。你的建议是我发现的为数不多的东西之一，非常简短。你建议我做的第一件事。我可以肯定地认识到她的问题是一种精神障碍，尽管在试图理解为什么她的行为方式时，我想我无意中诊断出她患有BPD。也许我应该试着放手，但如果不理解她为什么会这样，我怎么能帮助她呢?第二件我不需要做的事情是，她已经在寻求帮助了，尽管我对她所见的治疗师的有效性有些怀疑，因为它似乎并没有使任何事情好转。你清单上的第三和第四件事，我希望你能详细说明。在治疗期间，我和丈夫如何提供支持性的牧师关系? To be a pastor means you teach the Word of God to the people in your church. It doesn't work to try and teach this woman, because she either takes one thing I say and twists it into something different and worse, or she denies that she did anything wrong. For example, if she treats another person in an unkind manner and I bring to her attention that she is acting in a way the Bible says we shouldn't she flips out because now (in her eyes) I have just called her bad and worthless, and at the same time she denies doing anything bad to this person because she did so many good things to them before. It's like she can't admit that she did anything wrong ever, so she recites the list of everything she ever did for this person that was good as proof that she couldn't possibly ever do something wrong or bad. Another thing I've hit, if I say she treated someone in a rude and unkind way, in her eyes I'm blaming her for everything that happened between her and this other person and saying that the other person never did anything wrong ever, so now I have to listen to her recite everything the other person did to her that was bad. She just can't see that she could have done both good and bad things or that she is a good person that did something wrong, in her eyes either she is good or bad. She can't see that someone else did both bad and good, in her eyes they are either all good or everything they ever did was evil and bad. She can't see that her and another peron could both be at fault for something that happened between them, in her eyes it's either all their fault or all hers. At this point I feel like I can't teach her at all, she rejects everything I say. I can love her and pray for her but can't teach her. But do I now just stand by and watch her behave in ways that go against the word of God for fear that she will flip out if I dare suggest she is doing something wrong? I feel like I am a bad friend and minister to watch her self destruct and say nothing. In the time I've known her I've watched her push people away or destroy other friendships she has. She runs a small business and that has suffered because of how she treated people. She has also expressed a desire to get back on the worship team and to be involved in other ministries in the church that are considered leadership positions. How can we allow her to be in leadership at our church if she acts in ways the Bible says a Christian shouldn't act and we can't confront her about it because she reacts so badly? Should I tell her that until she makes some progress in her treatment she shouldn't be in leadership? I hate to do that, because I feel like God can use anyone and I don't want to refuse to put this lady in leadership just because she has a mental illness. At the same time she continues to behave in ways the Bible says we shouldn't and we can't teach her otherwise because of the mental illness so I don't know what to do. If you could give me advice I would appreciate it because I'm at a loss.
你建议的第四件事，在治疗后的日子里保持密切的关系并提供教牧咨询，而不培养依赖，似乎是不可能的。你能给我一些建议吗?我怎样才能保持一个密切的关系和这个女人当每周我得到几个文本或一封信从她对我说她不好,永远不会好,我如何对待她像泥土,她怎么感觉她不是安全的在我们的教会或不是想要的,等等等等,当我试图做的就是指出四个月前,她表演的方式违背圣经教导什么?我试着放手，告诉自己她不是故意的，她的问题比我能理解的更大，但很难和一个一半时间表现得像他们不想要的人保持友谊。我相信她说她很纠结，因为她表现得像两个人。我该如何维持这段友谊?她不会也不能原谅我那些我从未说过的话。我和我丈夫怎样才能给她建议而不让她觉得我们在攻击她呢?如果我们说“你现在对这个人没有同情心”，她就会曲解成“你不是一个有同情心的人”。不管我们多少次平静地说“不，那不是我说的”，我们遇到的都是“好吧，那就是我的感觉!”这就是事情的结局，她不会放过我们几个月来让她有这种感觉。 Are we not supposed to bring up to her anything she is doing that is less than perfect? If you could give me any advice at all I would appreciate it so much!
抱歉让你久等了。我不知道还能找谁。如果你知道一个博客或书籍推荐我将感激任何。你能告诉我的任何事情都是有帮助的，我将非常感激!我真的很爱这个女人，非常想帮助她，但我不知道该怎么做。

我刚刚在我的网站上放了一些关于"精神健康友好教会"的东西心理健康问题经常被教会的人误解。

“重要的是要以尊重、爱、同情、优雅和尊严来对待患有精神疾病的个人。”
我明白你的意思，但看法略有不同。不仅仅是精神疾病患者需要得到“尊重、爱、同情、优雅和尊严”的对待。每个人都需要这样对待，无论他们的心理健康、身体健康、种族、阶级、民族、性取向、性别等等。我说的可能是显而易见的，但我不相信有精神疾病的人需要在教会里和被教会区别对待。如果我们这样对待每个人，那么首先，这就是基督所吩咐的，其次，这将是一个很好的方法来消除差异的耻辱。我们需要就人们发出的污名化信息进行教育，但我认为有必要学会像我们自己希望被对待一样对待所有人(包括那些患有精神疾病的人，毕竟我们也是人)。

贝基，你在教堂的经历让我很难过。我希望你将来能找到一个社区，接受真实的你，并把你当作上帝心爱的孩子。
在我长大的教堂里，我也有过类似的经历。很长一段时间，我隐藏了我的精神疾病(双相情感障碍II和饮食失调)，因为我知道我的教会“家人”会如何反应——通过说你上面说的许多事情。幸运的是，我找到了一个更开放的信徒社区。当我的牧师在讲坛上说，他相信药物是上帝治愈焦虑、抑郁等的一种方式时，我知道这就是家。