朱丽叶:轻躁、狂躁和混合状态对我的感觉

一位患有双相情感障碍的女性描述了轻度躁狂和躁狂的感觉。

双相情感障碍患者的生活故事

“为了让光明如此明亮，黑暗必须存在。”
~ Danny Devito ~

这是我在躁狂和轻躁狂或混合状态下所经历的事件的累积评论。我试图描绘出一幅像样的画面，描绘出这些州的感觉。我有快速循环，所以有很多次发作。我已经给出了一个累积的概述。

~轻度躁狂~

我感到快乐的血液在我的血管里涌动。我沉醉于生活!一种巨大的“快感”找到了我。我机智、迷人、敏捷、健谈、活泼。一切都变得非常迷人和辉煌。兴奋是一种保守的说法。我想把这种感觉分享给每一个人，所以我不由自主地一边在电脑上聊天，一边给别人打电话。我打电话给通灵师或进行在线咨询，因为我知道他们可以指导我最终花费无数美元。当我同时处理多项任务时，我的电脑上有几个窗口同时打开。我和陌生人聊天，买我不需要的东西，研究我的网站，写信等等。 Even though I am easily distracted, I can still do all of this because I'm ingenious. I spend hours on-line looking at meaningful quotations that I can connect with and perusing through my CD collection browsing for profound lyrics. Music becomes especially meaningful and touches my soul. Songs repeat over and over again in my head with fleeting swiftness, as I continue to change the CDs quickly in succession. Laughter is infectious, I crack up at everything and find humor in moronic things and I expect others to laugh with me as well. I feel seductive and sensual thinking I can take lovemaking to a new height. I'm running around my house with almost nothing on right in front of the windows. I can clean with lightening speed and get dazzling results. I have little time for sleep because I'm too absorbed with activity. At times irritability creeps in and I'm easily annoyed. I quip at small and senseless things. Eventually the mood changes and it becomes something else.

疯狂~ ~

它开始于轻度躁狂的兴奋感，然后发展成自己的怪物。

在我被确诊之前:

1985年:焦躁和易怒
我已经三天没睡了。我开着一辆根本不该开的车，在路上不规律地、飞快地嗡嗡作响。我和我的fiancé(现在是我丈夫)有一场非常激烈的争论(关于我不知道的事情)。我的易怒程度超出了里氏震级。我的大脑在飞速运转，事情很混乱，我的谈话也不清楚。对我来说，无论是否有意义，我都要继续大喊大叫。从我嘴里出来的想法是不连贯的，没有任何理由。我说得越快，就越激动。我被周围的一切分心了。格雷格对我的行为感到震惊，但没有说出来。 I am screaming and yelling...he says very little. I pull over to the curb and summon him out of the car. He stares at me with bewildered tearful eyes and eventually gets out. I squeal the tires and zoom down the road, leaving him 100 blocks from home with no money to catch the bus. He walks all the way back to my house.

1987年:一次宏伟的旅行
我想我今天想得很清楚，尽管我有点急躁，我的思维加速得很快。奇思妙想是不可思议的。齿轮在转动。周围的一切让我不知所措。我想我很富裕。不，我知道。我能买得起我想要的任何东西。付款计划是为我创建的!我计划去墨西哥度假。毕竟，这是我应得的。 Feeling extremely animated, I picture myself drinking exotic libations under a cool palm tree and feeling the romance of a far off and wondrous place. Xtapa/Zihuatanejo sounds perfect! The travel brochures speak to me! I impulsively book a an expensive vacation and put it on a credit card and tell my husband afterwards. He wants to please me so he agrees because he has no idea at this point what is wrong with me. The trip turns out to be a $6000.00 mess.

躁狂：
对我来说，躁狂发作一开始就像一阵强烈的狂喜。一个人会体验到某种虚张声势和更高的自尊。我觉得自己有创造力，直觉敏锐，头晕目眩。我每天工作12个小时以上，长时间几乎不睡觉，因为我脑子里有“项目”。大部分睡眠最终会停止。我变得比平时健谈多了，几乎可以和任何人交谈。被倾听的需求让人精疲力竭。我有时会醉得“昏过去”，对自己的行为没有任何记忆。我确实记得有一次我狂躁，我酗酒，在我的工作地点(酒店)弹钢琴到凌晨5点。有趣的是，我不弹钢琴。 I ran the risk of disturbing sleeping guests and being fired. I have spent thousands of dollars on trips, cars, clothes, etc., etc. My energy is monumental. I'm a seductress with an alluring grin. My discretion is reckless at best. I can't even keep up with all the ideas floating around in my head. This level can continue for a good period of time...then things change.

思想开始跑得越来越快;说话变得参差不齐，不连贯。人们看我很奇怪，因为我不能把我的想法和我的话语联系起来。然后情况变得很糟糕，因为易怒和愤怒开始发挥作用，有时还会发生暴力。我开始与现实失去联系，因为我所处理的一切都是不准确的。我觉得我的药是毒药，所以我拒绝服用。妄想症悄然袭来，事情变成了可怕的想法。我的大脑欺骗了我的意识，事情变得非常令人担忧。争吵变得异常激烈，财产被毁，我变得完全失控。我看到过蜘蛛一样的东西在我的脚上爬行，还有科幻电影里的大型生物在我卧室的灯光下移动。 The horror of this is immense. I am entangled in my mind. The next thing I know I crash and wind up in the hospital or end up taking more pills of many colors...pretty yellow, pink, and white. My cycles are rapid most of the time.

~混合态~

我快受不了了。我是如此沮丧和绝望，我无法忍受，我的大脑无法关闭。我思绪万千，反复琢磨着自杀的事。我坐在床上，用我的笔记本电脑进行多项任务，打开许多窗口，泪眼汪汪地看着屏幕。我的脑海里充满了各种各样的情绪。我无法集中注意力，非常疯狂。我想要打扫卫生，但我漫无目的地在房子里从一个房间走到另一个房间，无法活动。我什么都不会打扫。我睡不着，不想吃，忙忙忙。我非常激动易怒。 I snap at my husband for no reason at all. Everything is completely out of whack! I'm in an emotional overload and I can't control it. I hold my hands to my ears and shake my head back and forth to try and silence my brain. The disorganization in my mind is too much to bear! I just want to escape but I am not able to. More pills or a nice trip to the fruit loop factory.

下一个:轻度躁狂型双相情感障碍的诊断标准
～双相情感障碍库
～所有双相障碍的文章