在我8岁生日前16天，我在半夜被父亲的尖叫声唤醒。只有他和我住在房子里。我跑进他的房间，发现他跪在床上呕吐的大量鲜血。我几乎不明白他告诉我寻求帮助。我冻结。我惊呆了。我终于来了，打了911。此后我不记得太多了，但我确实记得我妈妈来接我。一个我不太了解的女人。那是我最后一次见到我父亲还活着。我没有说再见。我现在40岁，这已经极大地影响了我的生活。 I have suffered addiction amd homelessness off and on when the pain is to much. if I think about that night for to long memories start to surface that I dont want to remember. it's to much pain. I need help. I know I do. sometimes I just cry for hours without warning. if I get help all those memories that bring me so much pain will come back. they hurt me to much and I dont want them surface. I just need help but I can't deal with the pain.