光是读这篇文章就让我焦虑不已!我从12岁开始就被告知患有抑郁症，我现在32岁了，但直到最近6年才出现焦虑。我看过医生，试过不同的药都没有成功。药物总是让我的胃很不舒服，我每天至少有一两个小时处于胎儿的位置，或者他们让我的神经系统超速运转，就像我喝了一箱红牛…因此，我学会了把疲惫、肌肉疼痛和消化不良作为日常生活的一部分来处理。在过去的两年里，我开始服用益生菌和圣约翰疣以及其他维生素，希望在我的生活中再也不用服用另一种处方药。在过去的12年里，直到最近2年，我几乎都恳求医生缓解这些症状。他们都只是做一个血液测试，然后总是告诉我“你的皮肤和指甲看起来很健康”，“吃了这些，一个月后再来”。我的一个博士告诉我几次,我是“太年轻,太责任和没有家人和朋友的支持”(我是24,单有3个小孩和一个第三个转变,每周80小时工厂工作lol)我没有想接受这个答案所以他要送我去检查纤维肌痛但是我最终放弃时,失去我的保险,因为我觉得继续那些小时我永远不会是自由的痛苦。那是在2012年。 At the time i thought "well they must be right" but these last 6 years having more free time ive learned to listen to my body better and recognize when and where things get off track at. Ive always been very softhearted and empathetic or sympathetic... I didnt know the difference in the 2 until i started to notice how since staying home ive had less muscle pain but over the top anxiety and digestion issues. Quitting my job only made it impossible for me be able to visit with family members and be available to offer assistance when they were in need. I didnt worry as much that i couldnt stay afloat myself but that i had no means to help my family like i always would when needed. Then i started a facebook page like i said never would and just witnessing all the ugliness and hate and then actually being attacked for having compassion caused me a deep sadness like i have never felt before (it radiated thru my whole body straight from my chest). I became obsessed with figuring out how and why people are so nasty to eachother and was determined i was gonna find a way to "fix" it. Now im back to just worrying about how im gonna fix all my aunts and cousins and friends stress and pain while i cant even fix my own because im constantly around negativity and stress. Ive said for a year now that i need new people... happy, calm, easy-going people to chill me out so i can get back to my helpful self i used to be. Now all i do is constantly wonder who it is thats probably thinking i dont care about them or their feelings and, like me, wont reach out for help. I always have to please someone or i feel useless, i dont know if that fits an empath or not. But just reading atleast lets me know im not alone cause others just chuckle and think im silly when say i can feel the pain and sadness thats all around so deep it hurts my , literally. And at other times i will have pain in my left leg and joints that is the exact same as my husbands. He had an allergic reaction to meds and i broke out in hives as ?! If i go into a crowded place, even if it was planned, and get a headache and nauseous and aalwaysend up with that one person who is having a bad day. I used to never think twice about it and loved to be of assistance if needed to anyone. Now thats its getting so bad tho i have found myself avoiding people and planning to become a gypsy just to get away from society and let nature heal me. I dont know what else i can do i literally get mad at myself for being so absent here lately to people but im also to the point where i may combust if i hear anymore complaining and negativity. I hate to be like that tho. I want to spread cheer and happiness and hope and love and make everybody all better and i cant do it like this lol