迷迭香,听起来你有很多怨恨和遗憾对自己有“浪费时间”的关系。你是正确的,当你说,“这只是接受那些我无法改变”。让这句话,自己的报价,是你的口头禅。不恨自己犯了这个错误。你做了你认为是准确的时间在你的生活中。祝福是你已经学会了很多关于自己和类型的关系。学习不是很好,但你也学会了如何做出更好的选择关系。相反,专注于你所做的。你从这种关系早已过去,不能再伤害你了。不要让记忆这样的伤害你。 It really is a conscious choice. Anytime you find yourself back in those memories, and you feel yourself beginning to cry, say to yourself "stop, stop it right now!". You're not avoiding the trauma and emotions by doing this, rather, you are taking control of it so that I doesn't control you. And I agree with another person's comments, definitely seek professional help, if you haven't already. I just came out of an abusive relationship. I had already been going to therapy for months prior, but now that it's finally over, I've continued. I need therapy. It helps keep me sane. It helps process the severe incident that ended our relationship so that I don't go crazy. Yes, friends, family, or any other loved one can listen to our story and pain. But, they can't offer the unbiased advice, tools, and knowledge that therapists can offer to help appropriately deal with these situations. Try it, if you haven't yet. But remember... Be open, honest primarily with yourself. It's only then, that you can begin healing for real. The bad memories will always be there, but by taking control over them you won't fell so pained as you do now. Good luck!