我在不与冒犯我的人也就是前夫沟通的过程中找到了极大的平静，不沟通。找另一种方式来谈论孩子。通过建立一个边界，无论如何都不允许与你有任何接触，来收回你的力量。如果你认为不可能，那就把它变成可能。只有当我的前任知道我必须因为孩子们而沟通时，他的操纵才起作用。我阻止了他，他完全失控了。一旦他意识到他无论如何都无法操纵你，权力就在你手中了。你的新生活方式就是自由。摆脱在蛋壳上行走和孤独的自由。我和自己有一个约会之夜，我去吃晚餐，看电影，我告诉自己我很自由。 I can eat where I want and watch a movie I want. It's all about me. Your free and you may be unhappy at times alone but you aren't. There are people like me that lived in abuse everyday for 23 years and I am free. I can do as I please now and my children are free also. The darkness is temporary. Everyday is a new day and it brings you further to a lightness where you are the light. You have the power within you. Remember how you made it through every abuse he inflicted, you got up everyday and did it all over again. Why, because you possess an inner strength probably more powerful than the normal person. Remember that strength, it is not a weakness, it is power you don't even realize you possess. Your resiliant. Don't forget that. Tell yourself "I am strong and I am free because I was strong!" I set myself free.