对于所有在这个博客上发帖的人，我感到很幸福，因为你们中的许多人在小时候被猥亵过，而我没有。抑郁和焦虑在我母亲的家庭中非常猖獗。在我生下第一个也是唯一的孩子后不久，我就遭受了第一次购买的痛苦，这个儿子是上帝的祝福。我在精神病院住了一个月，现在我知道当时我不知道的是，我被误诊了。实际上我有产后抑郁症。从那以后，我一直在服用多种抗抑郁药和抗焦虑药。我最终回到了工作岗位，但在2013年8月，我开始出现严重的焦虑和抑郁。从那以后，我一直在精神科和心理学家的照顾下。一开始，我有准广场恐怖症。我亲爱的外祖母2005年去世，我亲爱的母亲2008年去世，我姐夫2009年去世(自杀)，我父亲2010年去世，我丈夫30多年的好朋友2011年去世，我丈夫身边的侄子2012年去世(自杀)，我岳母2013年去世。 In August 2013, I went out on disability and never really returned to work, so in March 2014, I was forced to give up a 42 year career. I went on long-term disability. Money became tight and it took over 2 years to go before a Social Security Judge and won my case. Unfortunately all back pay went to my long term health insurer. Money became tighter and weh had no choice but to sell our beloved home of 21 years. Between 11/16 & 4/17, we moved twice. Forgot to mention that one sibling has not spoken to me since my mother's funeral in 2008. One sister who also had not spoken with me since then moved in with my husband and me in summer 2014 and remains with us to this day. We don't get along. That left one sister with whom I had a great relationship but that ended with differences in politics a year ago. During these traumas, I've had my share of severe depression wherein I couldn't get off my couch for a week. They left just as quickly as they came. About 2 weeks ago, severe malaise, lack of initiative/motivation came over me literally from one day to the next. The odd thing is that I wasn't depressed in the traditional sense. I simply have done nothing but lie on my couch for 6 days now. I went to my primary care physician von 9/16 and he ran a battery of blood tests, all negative except my B12 level is twice the norm, thanks to him and my neurologist who told me to take supplements. Neuro knew I was taking them. My PCP wanted me to see a rheumatologist because I have symptoms of Sjojerns disorder characterized by extreme fatigue/dry mouth and dry eye). I see the neurologist on Monday mainly to get written results of two MRIs in which incidentally a cavernoma was discovered in my cavernoma. My beloved son had previously been diagnosed with frontal lobe epilepsy, asymptomatic since on RX. The cavernoma is apparently no cause for concern but I want rheumotologist to see MRI results as well as nerve conduction on my legs (negative) so he doesn't think I have MS. That would have shown up on the 2 MRIs. I'm hoping he can explain my mouth dryness as well as why I haven't been able to get off my couch for 6 days and by time I see him on Tuesday it will have been 9 days. I want nobody telling me it's depression because that's always their fall back position. My therapist did tell me there are 2 major categories of depression: traditional & anahadonia, the latter of which he believes I'm currently experiencing. I emailed my psychiatrist 4 days ago but no response. I forgot to mention I'm 63 years old. Thank you for letting me vent. I will keep all of you in my prayers as I hope you'll do for me. Many blessings