我有严重的社交焦虑症。我的家人似乎不理解也不记得了。有人隔着卧室的门对我大喊大叫，批评我不善于社交。亲戚来敲门，说他们稍后会来看我，和我谈谈。这一切都让我心跳加速，我感觉无法呼吸。我在房间里躲了快三天了。我试着等到大家都睡着了再出去买菜，但往往睡着了，错过了我的机会。我又饿又累又渴，而且非常非常想上厕所。我害怕每天被人看到。我不知道为什么人们突然觉得圣诞节不一样了。 And the dwell on it. And then tell me they will be back later to talk to me. This is by far the most anxiety causing thing. I am thinking of ways I can harm myself to end up in the er. But then, social anxiety prevents me from going to the er. I am sweating, and shaking and all I can feel is the embarrassment. I wish people would leave me alone and not pressure me into soicalizing. Why don't they just email me? That is so much easier than face to face. Oh. I thought it would be a nice quite xmas and new years alone. This is awful. I don't know what to do. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Thinking of ODing on benzodiazepines and pain meds for the rest of the time relatives here. Not to die, but enough to make me sleep for about a day. I can't think of anyway out of this.