我和辱骂我的人在一起已经16年了……结婚11年了。我最小的孩子今年7岁，我已经制定了退出计划，但不会等到7年后，因为我想先保证经济安全。我希望我们的抵押贷款也能先还清。我想确保我和我的孩子在经济上不会有问题。我一直和我儿子谈话，告诉他他父亲的行为被称为“言语虐待”，这是错误的。与此同时，我已经意识到，说“停止它。不要骂我。请不要这样对待我。”我的丈夫开始对我说我是“拖车公园的垃圾”，“在我遇到他之前什么都不是”，“失业”，“愚蠢，缺乏智力”，“我的家人讨厌我”等等。是的，我曾经住在一个拖车公园里，但当我遇到我的丈夫时，我受过大学教育(B. Comm)，有一个很好的事业。 6 months into our relationship, I was laid off by a tech company and my husband helped me find a secure union position where I am today. Because the verbal abuse escalates when I respond with "stop it" etc., I am realizing that this strategy does not work. And so I am going to try going back to not responding when yelled at or called names and if he asks why, I will respond with, "I'm not going to answer you when you speak to me this way." He's an angry man...very angry man. He's never hit the kids (daughter is our dream child), but he sometimes calls my son names like , "dumb ass" (very rarely) and I remind my son that it's verbal abuse. I assured him that he's not a "dumb ass' and the real "dumb ass" is the one saying it in the first place. I know my son will distance himself from his father when he's older. I see it coming. My husband has pushed me on 2 occasions (last time was 3 years ago); he's also punched holes in our walls, broken light switches, etc. When I stay calm, his anger dies, so 95% of the time I can control it (or he punches a wall the 5%). I can manage this for a few years while I save and get the mortgage paid off. Then I will implement my plan to leave. I am also getting all my important documents together, like the property deed (with my name on it), financials, etc. My daughter is very smart and knows that what her father is doing is wrong. Both my kids think I should "break up with him". I am not sharing my plan with them for obvious reasons. They will both be teens when I leave, so I will no longer have expenses like daycare and afterschool programs. The problem is that renting a 3 bedroom is very expensive, so I have to save and if I left now, I know my husband would screw me financially. I have worked so hard in my life, that it's really important to me to have my finances in order before I leave.