我知道，作为一个对世界一无所知的孩子，我当时笑了。因为我看待事物的方式简单而线性，就像其他人一样。但现在我已经进入成人阶段，并且已经研究了我所处的世界中的很多东西，再去体验我已经在脑海中学习过的东西感觉毫无意义。所以我从发生的任何事情中得到的唯一娱乐就是通过体验情感上的事情。出于某种原因，我不能以同样的方式体验，因为我已经关闭了我的情绪，作为一种防御机制，对我早年经历过的事情的组合，无论短暂与否。我可能会对这样的事情感到好笑，因为其他人经历了与众不同的创伤，这些创伤通常是为了娱乐和学习目的而记录下来的。但我没有，因为我觉得没有任何理由有意愿去感受，并因此做出反应。我想，在某种程度上，当我周围的人只要不同意你的行为，甚至只是你的舌头咔嚓一下，就会像狂犬病狗一样咬人，我就能活下来。但现在，正是这些人想让我变回那个微笑、快乐和无知的年轻人。只是因为他们怀念我的可爱。 Maybe I am capable of doing such a thing. But I feel no reason to do it. It will not help me strive towards my goals in life. It will only allow me to wear a mask, an act of a person, which would cause me to be kept in the dark and leave my problem unsolved. I don't need that. I simply need to be able to care again. Apparently, there is no way to do this. Or, get a "cure", as it was put in the above article. I don't know. It just happened at some point and as of that moment, whenever it had occurred, I haven't turned back. I'm not even sure if it's depression that I'm experiencing. I mean, I make jokes about everything, including death - but there is no real heart behind them despite the way that they are interpreted on the outside. I feel no will to end my life, or to keep moving forward. I simply want to do what my initial goals were and learn from the experiences I have in the meantime. So, I don't believe this to be a depression, despite the results given when I searched up "what to do if you have no emotions". It would almost be disappointing, if it weren't for the fact that I both know and don't care.