我的绳子。最后药物给我可怕的副作用——第一次对我来说,和一些我不需要再次发生。我现在一个新的地中海以及我们的简历格式我从假期回来后与我。我没有很长时间的抑郁,我认真思考长期自己,而不是消失,但这会让我的伙伴失望一次。一生的抑郁与偶尔的轻度躁狂(不经常合我胃口,尽管崩溃是不值得)就足够了。我受够了。有时我认为养老院是唯一的路要走。试图以这种方式生活是残酷的。痛苦的。甚至更令人沮丧当一个新的地中海便便。 We're probably going to move to bilateral ECTs now, given the limited effectiveness of the unilateral ones. There goes my memory and who knows what else. I know my psychiatrist would fix me if she could - she's been an unending source of support and compassion, for which I am truly grateful. But how much more can one person take? I know there's no magic fix, and I have tried so much over the years. But it's all disintegrating again and I can't keep pretending that things are all right. I'm tired, I cry all the time, and we're cranking the dosage of the newest med up as fast as is reasonable. I've come to consider my depression as me, not just an ailment because it IS who I am. It's unrelenting, it's interminable. I'm utterly fed up. I appreciate reading all these comments because it's awfully nice to see little rays of hope shining in the murk. Don't let me bring you down. It's probably just me. It's always just me. I'm so done. I can't find it in me to be hopeful any longer. Sorry for the downer post, but thanks for letting me share.