有时我觉得我是唯一的人在美国这样一个怪物,一个丈夫,但是阅读这个博客使我意识到有很多其他的女人在我的鞋。29年之后的这个疯子的口头定期杀威棒,我终于开始面对它到底是什么。他不是我的丈夫,他是我的攻击者。他的对抗攻击。我没有只是退化和减少,我一直攻击。这个人杀了婚姻和教我恨。我从来不知道恨在我的整个生活。即使在这个婚姻,我不恨他。但这改变了两年前当他决定我不再存在,他只会对我说当他心情杀威棒。在这种异化的开始,我惊呆了。 I went through all the stages of grief, one by one. In the end was acceptance. I accepted the marriage was dead. And now, instead of always giving him the benefit of the doubt and forgiving his attacks, I have developed a hatred for him - it's the same intensity of hatred I now realize he always had for me. I now realize this marriage was a fraud from day 1. But I stay in it because I know if I leave, he will retaliate in the most vicious way he can think of. My life would probably end. So I stay, and I pray that I will outlive him and I will be able to shout out "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'm free at last!"