总你好,我个人做了,在过去的两年中一直在治疗。你需要保持一个开放的头脑,我们相信我们是怪物由于极端严重的创伤经历。当他的保护者告诉你保持这是他生命的一部分,是完全吓坏了的爱。接受爱他必须接受他是多么受损。请记住你不能救援或改变别人,如果他们没有准备好。混乱和缺乏爱和支持都是我们知道长大,作为保护者感觉安全的环境中继续我们知道最好还是学会了生存。他的保护者希望你是安全的和他知道的唯一方法就是将你推离自己。我希望你是安全的,我有我自己的虐待行为的关系首先请确保你的安全。但是有希望但他需要能够处理创伤的帮助和支持。痛苦你所说的是我们知道最好的爱是提醒我们从未有过的爱。 your trying to rationalize something that is not rational. At the end of the day like any relationship does his good outweigh the bad and can you live like this long term. He will need to love an accept all these parts to love you. Even his darkest part needs the light and will take time to grow. Please ask him to get help and that you realize it will take time and he has all the time in the world. Do not threaten abandonment as you will have a war! in time with the right support both of you wil be able to make the decision if the relationship is healthy! Please make sure your safe!